Wednesday, December 14, 2011


Vivienne is down and out, AGAIN.  I finally felt like we were just getting over dealing with her previous sickness/flu thing...and then two days ago she came down with another virus.  Mitch has been carrying one around for going on 3 weeks now, and today it felt like a golf ball is lodged in my throat -- so it looks like I get to join the club.  It's the season, I know, but I am so over it.  These last few weeks have been mentally and physically a bit rough for me.  Between the Christmas preparations (which I love) and the shopping for gifts (hemorrhaging money), the pain flare ups with my stupid neck and the working nonstop every chance I get (and barely making my deadline this week) this mama is one wiped out woman.  Add to that a sick toddler who needs to be held all night long, and you've got a perfect storm for a meltdown. 

I know it will all pass.  This time of year is so lovely and so hard all at the same time.  I always get a little blue this time of year, even though it's my favorite.  It's hard not to think about my miscarriage.  About how I should be a few months away from a delivery to a baby that wasn't meant to be.  I had such different plans for this Christmas.  Not better, just different.  Anyway, I may be absent here a little while longer as I take some time to recharge and refocus.

I am so excited to have our first Christmas at home this year, just the three of us.  I may have ordered a pancake pen from William Sonoma just for the occasion!  Viv and I have a lot of sugar cookies to make for Santa in our near future, and speaking of Santa (tangent alert)...Vivienne has still never been to see Santa.  Nope!  Never sat on his knee.  I know it's as American as apple pie, but I have always found it incredibly creepy and weird - going to a mall, putting my kid on some old man's lap only to see them scream with terror.  But who knows, maybe she would like it?  Have I been depriving her of a great experience?  I think this is the year where we/I break down and do it.  Only the pictures will be able to tell if it was worth it or not!


Sunday, December 11, 2011


Last week's play date.  The Randall Museum with Julian!



The tree's been up for about two weeks now, along with stockings and the rest of the Christmas cheer.  I am completely behind on blogging.  Our local tree lot wasn't up this year, so we went to a place with a bit more flair and had a blast.  Mitch did his traditional "real man" pose --  carrying the kid and the tree to the car.  I wonder how long we'll be able to pull that off!

I can't believe Christmas is in two weeks..

Saturday, December 3, 2011


Last week Vivienne went to see The Velveteen Rabbit, her first ballet.  It was 75 minutes long, with one intermission.  We went with my friend Glory and her son Julian.  Glory and I went with a relaxed attitude and the intention of leaving if the kids simply couldn't handle it, but they did great!  There were a few potty trips and a couple of "let's use our whispering voices" but all in all it was a complete success!  It was so fun seeing the look on my daughter's face when the curtain rose and the music started, and the beautiful rabbit danced out onto the floor.  Even though the story is a bit mature for her she surprised me with how engaged she seemed to be.  It also helped that it was a matinee show and a theater filled to the brim with kids -- a very understanding and patient audience. 

I can't wait to do this every year.  As we walked back to the car through the hustle and bustle of the festive city, Vivi's hand in mine, it struck me how I was experiencing a first of many with my little babe.  My little babe who picked out every lit up Christmas tree to point out to me on the street.  My little babe who is not so little anymore.  The girl who picked out her own red "fancy pretty shoes!" and pushed the elevator buttons all by herself.  Who carried her own little pack full of snacks. 

It was one of those "aha" moments, realizing that I am actually getting to do some of the things that I have only before dreamed of doing.  How lucky I am.