Thursday, April 1, 2010
Peace and quiet
This last Tuesday was my first night ever away from Vivienne. Since I had to work both Tuesday and Wednesday and Mitch is on Spring Break (as is his mom), he took her to Galt to spend a night there. It was my idea and I had tons of logic behind my decision. I mean, it's been 7 months since I have had a night to myself. Longer if we count pregnancy because come on, you're not really "alone" when you're pregnant right? I had major plans for my night ALONE. I was either going to drink some wine and watch some trashy movie that Mitch would never watch with me (oh and turn up the volume past 12!), OR go to bed early while playing on my computer in bed. Two very lovely things right?
As it turns out, having a night to yourself is not all that it's cracked up to be. I spent the whole night thinking about Vivienne and what she was up to. With my sometimes psychotic mind that is NOT a good thing. At one point I got all philosophical and started imagining what I would ever do if suddenly this was my new reality and they were instantly gone from my life. Trying to stave off a panic attack, I then decided that I would wash her ENTIRE crib set because what better time than when she won't be using it! One thing led to another, and I ended up CLEANING. Yes, cleaning. Finally, I dropped into bed at 11pm, totally exhausted and lonely. Maybe it's just because it was my first one and the next one will be better, who knows. All I can say is I'm not really looking forward to my time alone anytime soon.
When they got home, and later that night we were all together again it was as if order was restored. Viv making TONS of noise, pulling my hair and giving me hickeys, and Mitch walking around the house obsessing about some noise or other that he heard from the neighbors house (sorry babe), all I could think of was the fact that this is how it should be. Peace and quiet is SO overrated.