One of those moments

Last night as I was going to bed, there was a rock concert being held in one of our neighbors backyards. It was comprised of about 5 screaming children after 10 o'clock at night. Thank god Vivienne has a noise maker in her bedroom that drowns out almost every noise imaginable. We however are not so lucky, so I decided to turn on my Whitenoise app, even though I was worried I wouldn't hear Vivienne if I had it on. I know I will eventually hear her, but she's teething and has needed A LOT of comfort at night these days (meaning we are up twice a night, yes, I know that is still not bad). Point being, Whitenoise won the argument over SCREAMING CHILDREN that should be tucked into their beds and not out SCREAMING with no adult supervision. I digress.

Around 12:49 I rolled over and found myself awake all of sudden and decided I would check on Vivienne because I thought I vaguely heard some babbling, light crying/whining. When I turned on the monitor, she was sitting there in her crib -- perfect little cherub just sitting there with both chubby hands on the bars of the crib STARING at the door, babbling what sounded like "mamamamamamama" (even though I'm sure it wasn't that). O M G. I know it was no big deal and as Mitch put it "She's not crying, it's ok", but I felt horrible. How long has she been up whining for me? Long enough to be perfectly sat up with her little hands on the JAIL BARS, just waiting. She was also so off-the-charts adorable in that moment that my heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest. Little chubby Pookie just sitting there patiently, waiting. Of course I ran in there like the house was on fire, grabbed her and began smothering her with kisses and "make it better's".

It was one of those moments -- where the whole world stops and I can't hear or see anything but Vivienne's perfect little body; the shapes of all her perfect little parts. When I picked her up I was intoxicated by her peachy soft red hair under my chin and the smell of shampoo and the 80 gallons of lotion I put on her earlier that night after her bath. As I rushed toward her crib she looked up at me with this little smile like "Hi Mommy, where you been?" and I knew right then and there that nothing could ever make me feel this way ever again. It was one of those moments that will be locked forever in the deep channels of my memory. I kept rocking her long after she was asleep in my arms, just to smell her. I honestly don't think I have ever seen anything so perfect? And that smell. I'm not even going to mention how the very SECOND I lay her down, she woke up crying and I had to go get Daddy because my arm was going numb from holding her. Nope, won't mention THAT! As I walked myself back to bed and let Mitch have his "turn" my only thought was, how lucky is he that he gets to smell her for awhile.