How big is Vivienne?

SO BIG!! This is her new adorable trick. I have been saying this to her since she was 2 weeks old. In a sing-song voice "How big is Vivienne?". She lifts her little chubby arms and we say SO BIG! She's finally started doing it. What's even cuter is her head tilts to the right a little when she lifts her arms. Anything to get people to smile and coo at her. To die for.

One of those moments

Last night as I was going to bed, there was a rock concert being held in one of our neighbors backyards. It was comprised of about 5 screaming children after 10 o'clock at night. Thank god Vivienne has a noise maker in her bedroom that drowns out almost every noise imaginable. We however are not so lucky, so I decided to turn on my Whitenoise app, even though I was worried I wouldn't hear Vivienne if I had it on. I know I will eventually hear her, but she's teething and has needed A LOT of comfort at night these days (meaning we are up twice a night, yes, I know that is still not bad). Point being, Whitenoise won the argument over SCREAMING CHILDREN that should be tucked into their beds and not out SCREAMING with no adult supervision. I digress.

Around 12:49 I rolled over and found myself awake all of sudden and decided I would check on Vivienne because I thought I vaguely heard some babbling, light crying/whining. When I turned on the monitor, she was sitting there in her crib -- perfect little cherub just sitting there with both chubby hands on the bars of the crib STARING at the door, babbling what sounded like "mamamamamamama" (even though I'm sure it wasn't that). O M G. I know it was no big deal and as Mitch put it "She's not crying, it's ok", but I felt horrible. How long has she been up whining for me? Long enough to be perfectly sat up with her little hands on the JAIL BARS, just waiting. She was also so off-the-charts adorable in that moment that my heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest. Little chubby Pookie just sitting there patiently, waiting. Of course I ran in there like the house was on fire, grabbed her and began smothering her with kisses and "make it better's".

It was one of those moments -- where the whole world stops and I can't hear or see anything but Vivienne's perfect little body; the shapes of all her perfect little parts. When I picked her up I was intoxicated by her peachy soft red hair under my chin and the smell of shampoo and the 80 gallons of lotion I put on her earlier that night after her bath. As I rushed toward her crib she looked up at me with this little smile like "Hi Mommy, where you been?" and I knew right then and there that nothing could ever make me feel this way ever again. It was one of those moments that will be locked forever in the deep channels of my memory. I kept rocking her long after she was asleep in my arms, just to smell her. I honestly don't think I have ever seen anything so perfect? And that smell. I'm not even going to mention how the very SECOND I lay her down, she woke up crying and I had to go get Daddy because my arm was going numb from holding her. Nope, won't mention THAT! As I walked myself back to bed and let Mitch have his "turn" my only thought was, how lucky is he that he gets to smell her for awhile.

Fish 3

It was a fabulous day! Thanks Mom...

Fish 2

Seeing some fish, and other stuff

It was a gorgeous day in the bay and my mom took Vivienne and I to the Aquarium last Saturday. Viv loved it and it took her mind off of getting her two top teeth. I have more pictures to come!

The Office

Today I missed my shuttle, the one that takes me to my train. I left my office early to grab an earlier bullet train because Mitch was going to be late tonight and I wanted to get home earlier. But my shuttle never came, and instead of channeling my upset energy into anger, which I was finding VERY easy to do, I decided to walk the half hour to the Caltrain station. I often forget that I work in one of the most beautiful places. Here are some of the pictures from my walk this afternoon. Gorgeous and not a bad way to spend the end of your work week.

Tickles

Even though she was still pretty sick on Sunday, we managed a few laughs out of her!

8 months!

Vivienne is 8 months! More like 8.5 months, but what can I say, we've been swamped this month with sickness. I wish these came out better, but Viv WILL NOT sit down anymore. All she wants to do is stand, so you can't see her adorable little wolf booties with little claws on them. Still, you get the picture. She has had a rough month with teething and sickness. Her first real cold, still recovering. She and I both had/have it and it's been the saddest thing yet, to hear her coughing in the middle of the night incessantly. She even has a little inhaler, yes, I think I passed on my asthma gene. We are watching for it closely, and it doesn't seem to bother her, she just wheezes away. Being sick doesn't help. She is 24 pounds, roughly a little more ;) CUTE CUTE CUTE...

Note to Vivienne:

We couldn't love you anymore than we do now. It is impossible to think of what life was like just 8 short months ago when you weren't out here in the world yet. You are the most beautiful, adventurous, funny little Pookie in all the world. We are just starting to see your darling little sensitive side as well, when you lean in and "kiss" us if we ask for it, or when you cry when other babies cry. You don't like anyone to be upset, ever. To try to put down in words what I feel for you seems so inadequate. You are the light of my life and I adore you. Thanks for changing me and making me a Mommy, and for showing me how deep love can be.

I love you Tootie, with all my heart, forever and ever.
Mommy xx

Vivienne and Dr. Tsai

Viv loves Dr. Tsai and they end up playing together by the end of the visit. She was very serious this time (she really did not feel good) and she also really wanted that stethoscope, which he ended up letting her have. He's a pushover when it comes to Viv. I like that about him! In other news, we just have to wait this one out. Tootie was up the entire night coughing. She ended up sleeping/coughing and moaning on Daddy from 3am until 6am (I was up from 10-3). It is truly the saddest thing and hardest thing for me, hearing her hack up her lungs in the middle of the night and then moan. No cough syrup, nothing we can do, except watch her closely to make sure it doesn't get worse and hold her. Oh the joys of parenting! She is definitely on the mend I think. Last night was a better night...

Capitalism

Since Viv is STILL getting better, and I feel like you-know-what, we decided that our outing today would be Babies R Us. WHOOOOOPIIIIEEEEEEE!! I can never go into this god forsaken store without filling my cart with enough crap to last for an apocalypse. Viv was getting fussy so I HAD to grab the fish teether off the shelf (she already has the apple version). Then of course, she NEEDED some Puffs. By the time we left I wasn't even sure what we went there for. Oh well. It was worth it to get her out of the house and have an "activity". Wow.

I did manage however, to snap this picture, which I thought was completely adorable and blog worthy. Enjoy.

Tearing it up

Vivienne and I have been swapping sicknesses for the past 10 days or so. It has been less than fun around our house. Monday was a sick day for both Mommy and Vivi, and towards the end of the day when I was literally watching the minutes until Mitch was home and I could take my feverish body to bed -- I let Vivienne participate in one of her favorite pastimes. Tearing up a magazine! Any one will do. Newspapers are her favorite because of the ease with which they tear. Not positive, but tearing up magazines is probably on someones list of "what not to let your baby learn to do". I have debated this in my head for some time now, and quite frankly, it's just so darn cute when she sticks that little tongue out and crawls over with such concentration to shred the you know what out of something. The girl has skills!

Forgot to mention

My Mother's Day gift from my amazing, generous, most talented and handsome husband, was a 13 inch Mac Book Pro. So unbelievable, and so so pretty. It made me pretty happy. Expect lots of blogging!

Cutest little couple

Mother's Day

As this past weekend was my first Mother's Day, it's fair to say I have been doing a fair bit of thinking about what it means to be a "Mother". So far all I can come up with is tired and overwhelmed! All kidding aside, I feel pretty darn lucky to be a Mommy to such a beautiful and confident little girl. Vivienne loves life more than anyone I have ever been around, literally. She NEVER gets tired of exploring and smiling so wide at people that they can't help but respond to her. It doesn't matter who it is. She tried to jump into the arms of the grocery store checker once because the woman was cooing at her.

When I was pregnant with Vivienne all I kept wishing and hoping was that she would always feel loved. Like really loved. Now that she is here, I see how that is something I never needed to worry about. She has more people than she could ever want loving her! It's my privilege to be Vivienne's mother, no matter how tired or overwhelmed I get. No matter the fact that I've been up with her every night for the last two weeks (as well as Mitch, let's be fair) due to teething and sickness. Even though my body doesn't feel the same and sometimes all I want to do is sleep for an entire weekend and have movies and food brought to me in bed. And I don't want ANYONE to talk to me for a whole 24 hours. Even when she doesn't nap, doesn't eat, and just wants to be held. Even when I go to check her diaper and end up sticking my finger knuckle deep into a big mushy poo. AND IT GETS UNDER MY FINGERNAILS. Even then.

Even in those times, I would rather be Vivienne's mother than anything else in the whole wide world. I'm the lucky one who gets to be a Mommy!

Little Pookie

Or my little Nut Nut, or Tootie, or Little Lion (growling is her favorite way of communicating). Oh, the many names for my sweet baby girl!

Pageboy

Getting Vivienne to stay in this thing takes an act of GOD lately. She is way too mobile to be locked up in JAIL. Offering her Daddy's hat while we clean up the kitchen seemed to work though. If you ask me, this is the cutest Pageboy look I have ever seen!

Milestones

Vivienne has 2 teeth! And she is 8 months old! And we got a "family" car (Honda CRV, decked out with leather and, wait for it, wait for it, BUTT WARMERS in the front seats). My talented husband is also building the world's most beautiful modern fences in the backyard, you know, in his spare time. This family has come a long way in the last month!

Joy

Sometimes I have to struggle to see the glass half full. I am that person, always have been -- something Mitch was aware of BEFORE he married me. When life feels overwhelming and like I just can't come up for air, and when bad things happen such as: volcanoes and floods and oil spills and racist laws in Arizona, this face is the one that brings me out of it every time. One day at a time.

Thighs

These are what I get to gnaw on all the time. They are stuffed into those little trousers like sausages in casings!