Thursday, December 2, 2010

Date night?

Before we had Vivi, I used to scoff at people who would tell me they went out on a "date night".  I'd secretly roll my eyes when people would tell me they had a "date" with their partner the other night and went and saw a movie, or whatever it was they were allowed to do.  First off, no one uses that phrase unless they have kids.  I mean come on, you're not dating anymore!  You're very much TOGETHER, in our case MARRIED.  My idea of dating is the time in which you are getting to know someone.  You could maybe push this term to the three month mark.  If you're lucky.  You're not dating someone you've been married to for 10 years!  Sorry to burst your bubble.  Why such hostility Amber, you may ask? 

Maybe it was because I didn't have a baby.  I had NO idea that once you have a baby your personal time literally gets flushed down the toilet.  I knew this in theory of course, but I also knew we would be different.  We wouldn't succumb to all of those stereotypical married with a baby people out there.  I held on to this myth for awhile after Vivi was born, thinking I'd get adjusted and it would just take some time before time itself would literally flow back into my life.  Fifteen months later, and I'm knee deep in diapers and a cranky toddler, looking into the mirror and the woman staring back at me is still in her pajamas.  With mascara from the night before still caked on.  Today as I drove my daughter back from IKEA we listened to her Music Together CD, and I found myself humming along to The Hello Song.  This is not a joke.  I've been abducted.  And I couldn't help but get sad about all of those times Mitch and I used to go out to expensive late night dinners, drink ourselves into lustful conversations until the wee hours of the morning, and sleep in until we felt like facing the new day.  A day full of possibility. 

It dawned on me that maybe the reason it's called "date night" is because in a way, you are getting to know your partner again.  Seeing each other in a new light.  And the only way to do that is to take the time, set it aside, and consciously try to be with each other again.  It may sound pathetic or sad, but really it's not.  Your relationship really does seem to take a backseat for awhile, making room for this little person and their hostile takeover.  These pictures are from a recent "date afternoon" if you will.  We went wine tasting the day after Thanksgiving and we got tipsy and we acted silly and we talked like we were teenagers again dreaming about what we wanted to do when we grow up.  It was fabulous. 

1 comment:

  1. Love it... You know I can relate in so many ways, it's been a year since our last "date night," so when we had ours a few weeks ago FINALLY, I was just so excited I didn't have to cut anyones meat for them! ;)
    So glad you had a "date night"... and about an hour away you have a friend that is also staring in the mirror saying - good god is that me?! In my CD player is the Alphabet song... You are not alone in this abduction!! XO